The pain behind her brown eyes
by xxStayStrongxx
Summary: Her life seemed perfect to everybody. But, there is a lot people don't know about Gabriella Montez. Behind the cheerful girl everybody thinks Gabriella is lies some secrets... Will Gabriella be able to keep her secrets..? What if her friends find out...? Will she be able to be saved before it is to late...?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own High School Musical!**

**Chapter One: Secrets**

My name is Gabriella Montez. I'm a senior at East High School in New Mexico. I'm seventeen years old and I'm beyond brilliant for my age. I got accepted into Stanford University, my dream school. I'm dating the caption of the East High boys varsity basketball team Troy Bolton. I have the most amazing friends. I guess you could say my life is awesome right? Well, you're wrong...

You see I hide a deep secret from my friends, and family... Underneath all my fake happiness, I'm miserable. I've been through so much that my friends here in Albuquerque do not know about... My dad walked out on us when I was really young and I've cut off all connections with him because all he did was hurt me. I was bullied at every school I went to before East High. The bullying has affected my life in a negative matter. In order to cope with the pain of my life I take it out on my own body. I've done it all it seems like. I cut myself, I self medicate with drugs, I purge all my meals up, and I am just depressed. Nobody can ever find out about this stuff though, or else I would be screwed.

I was in my room getting ready for school when my phone rang, I had gotten a text message from none other then Troy Bolton, my amazing boyfriend. I smiled as I read the text which said, "Good morning beautiful girl, I'll pick you up at seven, and drive you to school today. Can't wait to see you! Love, Troy" I replied to the text saying, "Hello wildcat, it's always nice hearing from you in the mornings. (: That sounds great though! I will see you when you get here :D xox G"

I was about to leave when I remembered that I had forgotten to cover the scars on my wrists. I quickly ran back into my room, and found my cover up, and began to cover them up. That was a close one today I thought to myself. This secret needs to stay a secret though... No matter how much pain I'm in nobody can ever find out about this...

Just then, Troy's truck showed up in front of my house. I grabbed my bag, and ran downstairs to meet him. He rang the door bell, and I answered with the biggest smile ever on my face.

"Hello wildcat."

Troy smiled back and kissed my cheek, and said "Hey Gabriella."

We were holding hands as we walked to his car, and he opened my door for me, and I climbed up in his truck. He got in the drivers seat, and started up the car, and we were off to school.

As we walked up to the school Chad, and Taylor came up to us holding hands. Was it official?! Were they finally together!

I looked at them, and smiled, and said "is it finally official, that you two are dating?"

Taylor burst into a huge smile, and screamed "YES!"

We all gave her a weird look before she finally calmed down. We all walked to home room together.

It was now lunch time, I slowly walked into the cafeteria, and got in line to get my lunch. I looked at the food in disgust, I didn't want to eat it but, I had no choice. If I didn't eat my friends might find out my secret, and that would be awful. So, I got a turkey sandwich, salad, and some fruit along with a bottle of water. I paid for my food then walked to my lunch table.

Martha, and Kelsi were already sitting down when I had gotten there. I smiled at them, and took a seat next to Kelsi. Taylor joined us a few minutes later, she was smiling bigger then earlier, I couldn't help but laugh.

Everybody was eating their lunch, and I looked down at mine in horror, I was terrified to eat. I took little bites of the sandwich till it was all gone. I thought to myself, that wasn't so bad now was it Gabriella... But, in reality it was... I managed to finish the rest of my lunch rather quickly... It was time to get rid of it now.

"Hey guys, I'll be right back" I told my friends.

Taylor looked at me, and asked, "Where are you going?"

I quickly thought of what I could tell her, "I need to use the bathroom!"

She said, "Oh, okay."

I quickly walked away from them into the bathroom. I made sure nobody was around before I entered a stall. I stuck two fingers down my throat, something that felt so familiar to me, and out came my lunch, and a lot of blood. I smiled to myself because I wouldn't be getting fat anytime soon. I flushed the toilet, and washed my hands, and popped some mints into my mouth before leaving the restroom.

On my way back to my table I bumped into Troy. I smiled at him, and gave him a hug.

He looked down at me, and said, "It's always nice running into your beautiful face."

I looked down at the ground for a second, and thought beautiful...? Yeah right, more like fat, and ugly... I looked back up at Troy, and faked a smile for him, and just hugged him tightly.

He gave me a kiss, and said, "Well, I'd better get back to the guys. See you later Gab!" With that, he left.

I walked back to my table, and sat down, and began thinking of how ugly I was which made me feel even more depressed then ever.

As I walked home from school, I began thinking of all the cruel things the girls who used to bully me would say, things such as:

**"Gabriella, you're so fat! Loose some weight fatty!"**

**"You're ugly! Honestly, I have never seen anybody as ugly as you!"**

**"Your daddy left you because he couldn't stand the fact that his daughter was just a mistake who should have never been born!"**

**"You do not deserve to live!"**

I quickly snapped out of those thoughts, and like that the pain hit me. I burst into tears, and ran home.

Thankfully for me, my mom wasn't home. I ran up to my room, and pulled out my pocket knife. I needed to cut... I hadn't cut in a few days, and I just needed too... I slide the blade across my wrist, and watched the blood spew out of it, and I smiled. I felt so much better. I went into my bathroom, and washed the blood off my wrist, and grabbed my cover up, and began to hide the newly formed cut on my wrist.

I began to wonder how my life had gotten to the point where I need to harm myself in the ways that I do... I guess I knew deep down it was wrong but, I can't help it... I'm weak, and I need to do this to make myself feel better... It'll be okay as long as nobody finds out...

**A/N: What will happen with Gabriella...? Will her friends ever find out her secrets...? Keep reading to find out more!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I am sooo sorry for not updating, I've been very busy with school but here it is chapter two. **

******Disclaimer: I do not own ****High School Musical!**

**Chapter 2:**

I groaned as I shut my alarm clock off because I was not ready to wake up yet. The only bright side about today was that it was Friday. I checked my phone and noticed I had two new messages, one from Troy and one from Taylor. I looked at Troy's first it said, "Hey my love, I can't wait to see you. I'll pick you up early and we will go get some Starbucks. xx Troy" I smiled and replied, "That sounds greaat, I just need to get ready first. I'll text you when I'm ready. Love you. 3 xox G." Afterword, I looked at Taylor's text which said, "I've never been so happy as I am not with Chad. AHHHH!" I laughed and replied, "That is great, Tay. ;p See you later."

I went and got ready for the day and as I was putting my make up on I looked at myself in the mirror and wondered why I of all people had been blessed with this ugly body... It didn't seem fair sometimes... I really want to go to Starbucks with Troy, but I am not sure it is worth becoming fatter than I already am over... I tried to push the negative thoughts out of my mind but they stayed there as I finished getting ready...

I texted Troy once I was ready telling him to come get me. I picked up my bag and walked downstairs to wait. As soon as I saw Troy's truck outside I yelled bye to my mom and walked out the door.

"LOOK WHO IT IS, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD!" is what I heard Troy scream as I walked out of the door.

I am no where near beautiful... I don't know why he thinks I am but oh well. I managed to fake a smile for him and gave him a kiss and with that we were off on our way to Starbucks. We got out coffee and left and drove to school. We walked into school holding hands as usual. When we walked by a group of girls, I heard my name being said. I quickly realized they were gossiping about me...

I heard one them say, "That Gabriella Montez girl is so lucky to be dating Troy Bolton, but I do not see what he sees in her. I mean she is ugly and fat."

The girls friends agreed. This just started to bring me to tears as I started to remember what people had said about me at my old schools. I didn't want Troy to see me crying so I told him I needed to use the bathroom and I ran off and locked myself in a stall and just cried my eyes out as the thoughts of being bullied when I was younger ran through my mind again...

**"You are so fat nobody would ever like you."**

**"You're ugly."**

**"Nobody likes you Gabriella go kill yourself."**

**"You can't spell ugly without a G which is what Gabriella starts with."**

With that I took out the knife from my pocket and cut... I just let it bleed out like always and then I wiped the blood away and covered up the nearly formed cut on my wrist. I felt a little better now.. I applied my makeup and rushed out of the bathroom so I wouldn't be late to home room.

Troy smiled at me as I walked through the door and I smiled back and quickly took my seat. My mind was racing through out the day as more and more negative thoughts ran through my mind... Sometimes I wondered if the world would just be better off without me like people used to tell me all the time... Maybe it would be... I didn't know how to control what I felt but I did know that I could not wait until I got home to deal with my emotions...

I somehow managed to make it to lunch without breaking down... I wasn't hungry nor did I want to eat either so instead I went to the music room where Troy and I had been so many times. I began to look around when Kelsi appeared.

Kelsi looked and smiled at me and said, "Hey, I didn't expect to see you here."

I looked at her and said, "Well, I just missed this place."

Kelsi smiled and said, "Well, the music room is an amazing place."

I noticed that she had some music in her arms. I was curious so I asked her, "What are you working on Kels?"

She looked down at the music and said, "Oh nothing, it's really nothing."

I took the sheet from her hand and noticed it said "Just The Way You Are" and asked her, "Who's this for?"

She looked down and said, "It was actually a surprise from Troy to you. He wrote the lyrics and I just wrote the music. He was going to sing it for you tonight."

I smiled and realized Troy was the one reason why I haven't tried killing myself. He is the one who keeps me alive. I looked at Kelsi and said, "Well, I for one cannot wait."

She said back, "You're going to love it Gabriella, it really is an amazing song."

I handed it back to her and just then the bell rang. I said goodbye to Kelsi and rushed off to my next class.

Later that day when the last bell had rung just as I was getting my bag ready for the weekend at my locker Troy walked up to me smiling and kissed my cheek.

He looked down at me and said, "Hey, are you free tonight?"

I looked up at him and managed to smile and said, "Yes, of course. Would you like to do something?"

He smiled and said, "Yes I would. I will pick you up at six. Now I have to get to basketball before dad yells at me. I love you so much Gabriella Montez."

I replied to him, "And I love you just as much Troy Bolton. See you tonight."

He gave me a kiss and then rushed off to the boy's locker room. I finished packing my bag and headed out to leave the school. I was lucky to have survived today. I felt so close to breaking down... I'd better get home and quickly... I went and got on my bus and soon I was home. I raced up to my room and went to my desk and pulled out my knife... It was time I thought to myself...

**What will happen to Gabriella? What does she plan on doing with the knife? Keep reading to find out. **


End file.
